Total distance cycled: 67,517 kms/ 42,198 miles
“Travel is glamorous only in
retrospect.” – Paul Theroux
But sometimes--actually a lot of the time, maybe even most of the time--life's pretty dull on the road. At least that's how I feel lately. In a selfish attempt to boost my own morale, I've come up with 10 benefits of bike touring. I've even done a little brainstorming on how riding a bike around the world relates to job skills. Which I may be needing if I don't snap out of this slump.
the fringe benefits of bike touring
- Achieve instant celebrity status.
Who would have thought the simple act of riding an over-laden
bike through a developing country could bring out the crowds?
Buy a bicycle, book a flight for Mongolia and leave your life
as a wannabe
superstar behind.
- Get
that 80's fake tan look for free. Never mind the irreversible
skin damage, the fact that you look 10 years older than your eldest
sister and try not to worry about the high cost of chemo-therapy and
health care rationing.
- Build
up low self-esteem by re-reading emails from cubicle bound workers in
Kansas who claim you are an 'inspiration'. Much cheaper than
psychotherapy and just as effective as self help groups.
- Make headlines on the front page of local newspapers with a
story about your fascinating cycling exploits featured next to gripping
articles such as Super
Wal-Mart to Open in Smallsville and All Church Summer Picnic a
Success.
- Perfect
the art of free-loading. Be invited home by complete
strangers
the world over who aren't fluent in your language, but will gladly give
you food and a warm bed. Your hosts will then invite over all
their friends, neighbors and family to marvel at the great distance you
have traveled. You will be subjected to an evening of polite
smiles and banal conversations based on the 10 words you know in each
other's language. Great for refining your rapport building
skills.
- Hone valuable
negotiating skills through multiple contacts with corrupt officials in
rogue states. If you can convince a Congolese immigration officer to
let you enter the country without paying the
'special processing
fee', you're sure toshine on the bargaining team of the local union.
- Learn
about the world's religions when you seek shelter for the night at
churches and mosques. A free roof over your head always comes
with a heavy dose of proselytizing.
- Indulge the sadistic side of yourself
by letting vicious dogs who have taken up chase get closer and closer
until at last you whip out your secret weapon: the Dog Dazer**.
Zap the raging dogs and then laugh cruelly as they bound back
in shock.
- If
you're a man, impress locals by your ability to shovel in vast
quantities of food and still remain skinny as a rail. If
you're a
woman, amaze family and friends by your ability to cycle thousands of
kilometers around the world and NOT lose weight.
- Alright, I drew a blank. Couldn't you help by finding a 10th reason to cycle around the world?
**Note
to animal lovers (and I'm one of them): the Dog Dazer is a harmless
device that keeps dogs at bay by emitting an irritating high frequency
noise not heard by humans.
As always, constructive comments, flattering e-mails and lavish praise are appreciated! But seriously, we do appreciate all comments and need a hand coming up with a 10th reason. Please help us out.
Many thanks to those who purchased our calendar for 2010 featuring some of our favorite portraits from our World Biking Tour. It's not too late to purchase your copy via Red Bubble. Proceeds will go towards more powerful sun protection and a fund to fight irreversible skin damage. Check out the calendar here.
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